Unfated Tian never planned to raise two children. Two children! Not flowers or grass, not cats or dogs. You ca…
Unfated Tian never planned to raise two children.
Two children!
Not flowers or grass, not cats or dogs. You can't just half-heartedly raise kids.
Once you take them in, there's no turning back. You're tied together for life. You have to feed them, teach them skills, and drill morals into them. And if you do a bad job? Well, what if they grow up to be neighborhood tyrants?
So at first, Unfated Tian had no intention of taking these two in as disciples.
But the younger boy's face was a ruined mess, tears streaming endlessly, while the girl clung to Unfated Tian's sleeve, her eyes wide and pleading....
Fine, fine.
"From now on, you're Doudou, and you're Yao Yaoyao. Understood?"
As for why "Doudou" and "Yaoyao"? Unfated Tian put serious thought into it. Even if it sounded like a joke.
First, Doudou always looked so sorrowful. So he gave him three "dous" (to tease), ensuring he'd grow up laughing.
Second, Yaoyao was sickly as a child. So he loaded her name with "yao" (medicine), hoping she'd stay healthy.
Corny? Maybe. But it worked. Against all odds, Doudou and Yaoyao grew up just as he'd wished.
Unfated Tian wasn't a Buddhist, but whenever he thought about it, he couldn't help muttering a silent Amitabha.
Yaoyao shed her ailments, becoming a carefree girl who laughed at everything. Doudou, too, stopped moping like a little rain cloud. He even smiled sometimes, a proper, childlike grin, and was fiercely filial. Yet...Too filial, Unfated Tian sighed. That tiny heart carried too much weight. If only he'd learn to live lightly.
Unfated Tian poured his soul into figuring child-rearing out.
The worst challenge? Stopping nighttime crying.
One wailing child is bad enough. Unfated Tian had two in one house.
And they'd compete. One would start, the other would escalate, a duet of misery lasting half the night.
In those moments, alone on his remote mountain in Blissful Retreat, far from human noise, Unfated Tian truly understood the phrase: "It's lonely at the top."
Desperate, he even swallowed his pride to ask that insufferable Jiang Wulang for advice.
Great Hero Jiang, how do you soothe a child at night?
Jiang Wulang smirked.
Mine never cries....Jiang Wulang is the worst.
Luckily, through trial and error, Unfated Tian discovered a solution:
Telling jokes. Terrible jokes.
The kind that'd make normal people shiver from sheer awkwardness.
But without fail, they silenced Yaoyao and Doudou.
Unfated Tian preened at his genius. Meanwhile, the kids would exchange a glance and burst into exaggerated laughter, playing along every time.